Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
