so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
