if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
