great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
