dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
