I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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