Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
