what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
