found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
