it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
