I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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