When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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