she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
