who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
