Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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