That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Are my feet made of real feet?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
