he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
