I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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