I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The power of my boobs compel you
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
