I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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