Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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