Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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