Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
