I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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