8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You were trust falling into bushes
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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