I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
