She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As shirtless as possible
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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