The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
