At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
