Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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