Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
