Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
