Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
