Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We had sex on a dog bed..
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
