I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
