i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
