Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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