If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
if i died would you start the facebook group?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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