oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
