I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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