Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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