on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
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