There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
