i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
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So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
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He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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