Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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