It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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