id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We named our party play list daddy issues
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
