I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
