And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize