sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
