exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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