and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
