google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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