i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
