Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
