i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize