It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
