It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
