Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
