i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
