Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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